well my friends...it has come time for me to say farewell to this xanga of mine.  i wish i could do this on my own (which i wouldnt want to) but this is being forced upon me by my parents.  As sad as it is, there are a few tears writing this...  it's almost become a little piece of me here in cyberspace.  i've shared so much pain and lots of happiness here and it's so angry that i have to let this go.  No more communications here..so you'll have to just IM me to see how things are =P..i'm not really laughing..but..this is officially my last entry..

with final words of wisdom: love all that you can, as hard as you can, as long as you can...love makes life worth living

kisses and hugs

signing off  -ashley

x  g  u  a  r  d  x  s  w  e  e  t  s  x

tsk tsk long time no write bad me

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!  HAPPY SWEET 16
JENNIFER & LISA!!

we LOVE you!!

yesterday was a riot!  chillin with roshan and the new camera haha...party at vic's..oo soo many memories my dears! the jinxed cake, the smokey kitchen, the annoying new family member, and of course another year kissing victoria at midnight =P I had a most awesome time with the party crew (me, vic, jen, and rachel)..friggin idiot! hahaha great times..but now whatever else i have to say, i've forgotten...so i'll write later... Happy 05! 

 yummiysushi:  we look like we could go to a black and white ball

awww us at the concert.  great times (can't see? go to: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/gemini_363/detail?.dir=81c4&.dnm=c107.jpg&.src=ph )

je t'aime toujours aussi

heeeyyy there! well things have been cooling off over here, the stress has been increasing in severe amounts but yay! Winter break starts today!! yes i know, we're all very very excited for this well deserved relaxation period.  on the other hand, i've got guard practice almost everyday but oh well..we're needin it..today: thanks everyone for the great gifts! fun in math, aside from the test *wink*..anywho, now for some random quotes of the last month or so (some people yelling at me to do this for a while now gah)

(justin and i are listening in on a conversation between heather and the others)
heather: ya know who's birthday is coming up?
(justin and ashley look at each other, confused)
heather: jesus
(justin and ashley bust up laughing 2 rows away from heather)

justin: ya know what?
ash: eh?
justin: you are like, my best white friend!!
ash: omg i'm so touched!
(hug)

Rdizzil: ashhole your boobs look good today!

(joseph and i are folding the floor)
joeseph: ew a pube!..is it yours ash?
ash: *looks down* nope... ... ...is it yours joseph?
joseph: *looks down* man i hope not..

scott: who's got that laser!?

Melissa: tay AMO me A-more cone toe-doe me core-da-sone...Like that!!


 ahhh yes ya probably had to be there but wow were those some good times..i've been meaning to get some disneyland pics on here but my camera is not cooperating right now grr..

HAPPY WINTER BREAK!! 

why?
why do we make something of nothing?
why do we let ourselves get caught up in words?
why do we let them capture us so easily?
why do we let one moment in time dictate our days?     
why can't we just let go?
why must we fantasize?
why do we care so much about things that shouldn't matter?

i wish i had the answers..but for now..it's only because sometimes..

...it feels so good..we always want what we can't have..and that one little inkling of hope is enough to hold up everything..i want this to work..i don't want to get sucked back into this hole, won over by ~charm~ and *u*t.. it amounts to nothing in the end..please..this can't be a one way street..